Halloween Wistful, Life Wistful.

I'm seeing all these awesome ideas online for Halloween parties, and decorations, and costumes, and food. Sigh. If only I wasn't so burned out from the costuming rush. Toby and I didn't even dress up for the kids' Halloween parties at school.

I did dress up for the church's annual Trunk or Treat event. My corset that fit at this time last year (when I was very early pregnant with Loch), doesn't fit anymore. I weigh the same, but things are obviously distributed differently now. Also sigh. I thought my body was already a fairly fluffy mom-style. It's the first one or two pregnancies that take that huge toll. Apparently, you can destroy your person just a little more every time.

It's not that I'm knocking motherhood at all. It's not the kids' fault I like food, and my fave "activity" is reading, preferably curled up in a chair with a blanket and hot tea. Live like a hobbit, look like a hobbit.

We purchased a treadmill off Craigslist recently, and I'm trying to put it to good use. I always forget how much good exercising does me. Not just physically, but mentally. I have a tendency to depression, and all the endorphins help my black moods immensely. I KNOW that mentally. But some part of me inside is always telling me it's not worth it, and I'd much rather nap.

Lucky to Have a Home.

Last weekend, we visited Toby's parents for a few hours on Sunday. Upon returning, the house smelled a bit funny. I mean, different from the normal urine and spilled milk. Toby went upstairs to put the kids to bed and found.....

This.

And This.

I hate to place blame undeserved, which is why I'm blaming this little girl.

Sure, she looks defenseless and covered with cake and sweet and sleepy and naked. That's her defense mechanism, the cuteness. She apparently turned on one of our photography lights, which was moved close to the mannequin. Also, right underneath this fire hazard was a box full of shredded paper that had been a packing box for some supplies. One tiny drop of hot flaming plastic mannequin....use your imagination. I know I did.

Guess if we lock the door to the sewing room when we're not in there? We do now.

Family Lexicon, Part 3 In a Series.

Herpes: . We noticed a couple of years ago, that the little dots of fabric from grommeting bodices tended to collect in huge numbers, then migrate like caribou. It became a family joke that they were everywhere.

I noticed that on Craftster, some referred to glitter as "the herpes of the craft world." So if glitter is for crafts, grommet dots are for bodice making. A tacky, tasteless nickname was born!

So don't freak out if we talk about herpes being everywhere at our house. We mean the other kind.

Last Stop for Self-Pity.

We're mostly sick around here. I don't know if it's THE flu, but it probably is. All but two of us have been sick for days. It's not debilitating, but I'm sick enough I just want to lie about and feed the baby all day. Too bad it's the Halloween Craziness Countdown, and I have a specific amount of bodices to sew every day so we won't get behind. Awesome.
We're so much faster and better at what we do than last year. I remember being crazy busy and working all the time the month of October last year, but I know that we have probably sewed three or four times as much merchandise. I'm FASTER, this year. Not nearly so fast as Michelle, but still. Toby said he almost can't keep ahead of me cutting.

Check out my trash can full of thread. Okay, there might be a dirty diaper or seven under there, too. Believe me when I say that there is thread EVERYWHERE around here. I find it in diapers, on my food, in my bra. And the little dots of fabric that are punched out when we grommet bodices. Stay tuned, I feel a Family Dictionary entry coming on.

Another Hen Day.

We went to Vea's today, with the goal of making duct-tape mannequins of two of us. I'm trying to be non-specific, since it is kind of embarrassing to have one's form lovingly swathed in shiny gray duct tape. We had a great time and ate some tasty pizza and laughed hysterically about how goofy it all was.

The hens encouraged me to share this story with you on the internets, since they enjoyed it so. Enjoy the suffering, shall we?

We have massive amounts of trouble getting Eldest to keep track of...anything. I know most parents think their kids are forgetful and disorganized, but seriously, folks: I feel hopeless.

She has:

Lost a SHIRT at school. (As in, one she was wearing that day.)

Broken one pair of glasses. (I'm surprised it's only one so far.)

Left her socks and shoes and coat and a book and a pillow and whatever else in the car all the time.

Been the center of a concerted effort on the part of her teacher and myself in making sure she writes in her planner every day, so I know about homework.

Left any number of valuables/horribles in her pockets so they were ruined/ruined other things in the washer. MP3 player, gum, candy, loose change, earphones, key chains, the list continues.

Spent the night at a friend's house, and todayI got the returned bag of forgotten items: shoes, flashlight key chain, and pajamas. Only that?

Don't even get me started about missing homework, lost library books, AWOL jackets, and lost socks/shoes (socks and shoes should be illegal until a kid is 18). Who the crap makes these things in pairs, so that you have to find not one, but TWO items every time kids need to look cared-for?

Have I painted the picture for you?

Last night, we visited my family, and I had the kids bring their homework. Scratch that. I told them to bring their homework, but we had to turn around halfway and come back for it. Homework was duly done, and when it was time to go, the kids gathered up their stuff and we headed for the car.

As we backed out of the driveway, Mom called us back, and Liv ran to the house to get her math homework. Then, when we got home, the same homework was kicked out onto the driveway, and Toby reminded her to get it. Crisis averted? Not even.

Today, when I was leaving for Hen Day, guess what was fluttering around the entry? Math homework. Also? In the Car? Math book. Correct me if I'm crazy, but I think at least two golden opportunities to put both in the backpack were missed.

I pause here to request a prayer, for patience, for me. Because my kids are giving me Tourette's.

Weird Little Girl.

I managed to make bread yesterday, using a no-knead recipe. I baked it in loaf pans, since I don't have time to knead, or shape, or fuss with it at all right now. Plus, we need toast and sandwiches, which work better with square slices, not irregular ovals.

Today, when Toby went into the kitchen to make lunch, Ivy told him she loves bread. Probably she yelled it, if I know her at all. Then she hugged the bread, and kissed it. Then she licked it. Nice. I'm glad she likes bread, I just hope everyone else likes it when she's done with it.

Rain Day.

The kids are out of school today, since their elementary school is flood-locked. Hooray for sleeping in, though I probably came out worse after waking up every couple hours to wonder if school was canceled.

We took the kids guilt-bowling this week. The schools, who are strapped for cash, fall prey to those cheezy fundraiser people. I don't want our kids peddling useless, overpriced crap to friends and neighbors, so we just throw all the sales packets away. Then Wednesday, when Toby drove them to school (yes, again!), he saw a huge carnival and bouncy castle set up there. It was a party for the kids who sold useless crap to friends and family. Grrrrrr.

Who paid for this? The fundraiser company? The school? People who bought junk? The whole system sucks. I still want to opt out, and just send a check to the school in lieu of participation in this crap, but way to penalize the kids who don't sell your junk for you. So, bowling, and Happy Meals. They even appreciated it enough to thank us.

Um anyway, the kids, and bowling.
I do love bowling shoes. These are meant to glow when exposed to black light. Not too thrilled about the velcro, though it was handy for the kids.
A typical smile for this little princess. Note the carefully coordinated red ensemble. She did that herself. And the punky near teenager in the background. I'm learning that she will dress like a girl, if I'm more selective of less floofy clothes.
Toby nearly smeared himself over the lanes in an attempt to knock down the pins with his mind... Perfect photographer timing, that.
Proof that I do exist. Moving on...

Loch had a good time for a while, just watching from a safe distance in his car seat. Later, we had to take turns holding him while he flapped excitedly at all the lights, sounds, and noises. Then he fell asleep while Toby held him.
Here is Ivy, complaining about how the ball she just backhanded off the ramp in front of her didn't knock over more than one pin. She alternated that with jumping up and down and cheering. Many hugs were exchanged after a successful turn.
This boy said it was the best night of his whole life. Sucking up will get you nowhere.

Family Lexicon, Part 2 In a Series

"Raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock."

Origin: Jill's Grandma Margaret

Meaning: It's gross, but very descriptive. A very hard rain with lots of splashing.

Examples: Accurately describes the weather all day, and how it's forecast to continue until the wee hours of morning. I'm pulling for a day off school, since some major roads are already flooded. According to Dad's rain gauge, we've had nearly five inches today.

Family Lexicon, Part 1 In a Series

"Sometimes I_____________to get attention."

Origin:
Michelle

Meaning:
This phrase can be used in almost any manner. I think originally it was "Sometimes I tell lies to get attention." It is used sarcastically, to poke fun at the speaker. We often just fill in the blank to suit whatever situation.

Examples:
Sometimes I blog to get attention. (My blogger tagline...)
Sometimes I crap in the floor to get attention. (That's for Ivy, I DON'T.)
Sometimes I sew boning to get attention. (This breaks the needle in the sewing machine, and it is loud and horrifying, and sometimes we have to get the machine fixed.)
Sometimes I post random embarrassing things on Facebook......



You get the idea. This phrase has become a running family joke.
Welcome to our world.

My Favorite Monty Python Sketch.

I don't know what exactly tickles me so. Maybe it's the crazed expressions. Maybe it's the bizarre misinformation regarding llamas. The smarmy fake mustaches. The big fake llama cutout picture. The pom-pom fringed hat. Or the motorscooter-and-man-in-drag-with-paper-bag finale.

Whatever the appeal, to me, it is perfect. Enjoy!

The things kids say.

We were walking out to the van from my parents' house last night, and Liv said:

"I like Fall nights, because they're so nice and cool. And, my underwear are too tight."

Ah, fall...when your drawers are suddenly inadequately sized due to the change in temperature.