Mosquito morning.

When I wake up and it's Toby's turn to make breakfast and get the kids on the bus, but after I'm sure he's going to get up, I can't relax or go back to sleep because I want to make sure the girls' hair is fixed.  I weigh myself in my unflattering underwear and see that I've gained back three of the seven pounds I lost in the last month. 

The washing machine has been giving us fits because the floor in the laundry room is so uneven it walks all over the place, so we strapped it to the wall and it instead jitters in place so much that it's tearing itself to pieces.  I check on the load that I tried all day yesterday to wash and it's still sitting in a bath of grey water. 

Back in my room I pull the nightgown over my head and I think about how I should get dressed for real but a nightgown is only one thing to do and I can't face putting on a bra and socks and pants and a shirt.  Too many steps...

Toby has popped amaranth and mixed it with yogurt for the kids' breakfast and they're avoiding it like the plague.  They ask if they can eat breakfast at school instead and I want to swear at them for being so picky.  I have to convince them to wear actual coats to school instead of the jackets they prefer because it's less than twenty degrees this morning.

They all pile out the door to wait for the bus even though I tell them to run out when it's at the corner so they don't stand there in the cold for five minutes.  They'd rather be out there then in here with me and the amaranth yogurt breakfast.  I yell a huffy goodbye at them.

Maggie is student of the month at school.  This time the kids managed to inform us, so we wanted to go for the ceremony.  Liv told me the assembly was at nine or nine-thirty, and after Toby puts Loch and Cora in the tub, I ask him to call the school to double-check when we need to be there, because I don't want to talk to anyone. 

Oh, hey.  We have to be at the school in fifteen minutes, at eight-thirty.  I have a sleeping baby and two naked kids in the tub.  I desperately need a shower myself.  So Toby and the camera go instead.  I sit down at the computer with my breakfast and there's something upsetting on facebook.  I try to call Toby to discuss it, but the school is in a cell phone wasteland.  Instead, I sit and simmer...snipping at Cora when she wants to climb me like a jungle gym and yelling at Loch when he can't find clean pants. 
 
It's not ten yet, and I feel that today is irredeemable.  Not only that,  it's all my fault for not trying harder.