Monday, November 30, 2009

Well, don't.



Oh, if I could have a t-shirt made with this image.

I can't seem to convince the boy that finger doesn't start with "th."  I adore the spelling, and the picture just slays me.  Check out those motion lines. It's just really...worth a thousand words, isn't it?

That little stick-figure guy won't be putting his thinggr anywhere near a plug hoel for some time.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Pie.

I love pie.  When I was growing up, my Grandma made pie for church dinners and hootenannies, each held monthly.  She'd also make pies for major holidays. and the yearly Lord's Acre at church.   That meant LOTS of occasions for pie-making.  I remember Grandma making lemon meringue, pumpkin, cherry, apple, pecan, coconut cream, banana cream, chocolate cream, and strawberry-rhubarb pies. She also made blackberry and peach cobbler.

 My grandma's generation knew how to make pie.  None of those soapy-tasting little store-bought pumpkin pies for them, although we'd cautiously examine the lemon meringue to assure it wasn't a cop-out pudding filling.  Every woman knew how to make pie crust, and most were known for one or two specialties.  There were always so many different kinds to choose from, and we could usually tell who'd made a pie by the crust crimping style.  

Here's where I kick myself, because as a picky and paranoid child, I would only eat pecan, apple, pumpkin, cherry, or lemon meringue pie.  When I was about ten years old, I bit into a pit in a cherry pie, and then I wouldn't eat cherry pie, either.  I would gladly eat any of those kinds of pie today, though I still have my favorites. 

I wold also dearly love to have Grandma's pie recipes, but there aren't any.  Like many other cooks of her era, she didn't use recipes.  Grandma was a wonderful intuitive cook and made everything by memory.  Since there were so many occasions for pie, I did watch her make pie crust many, many times.  She always kept a large, yellow tupperware bowl in the corner of the kitchen, with flour and the sifter in it.   I own this bowl now, and it always makes me think of her, singing in the kitchen, clacking her hard-soled shoes on the floor.

She'd sift a large pile of flour into her speckled melamine bowl, then sprinkle in a dose of salt, measured out into the soft palm of her hand.   A generous dollop of Crisco was cut in with a fork until the mixture was evenly crumbly.  She'd pour in a few spoonfuls of ice water, and mix with the fork until all held together in a ball.  Then Grandma would get out her big, scarred wooden cutting board and sift flour onto it, roll out the dough in a perfect circle of even thickness,  She'd gently transfer it to a pie tin, and trim and crimp the edges. 

I was always so impressed with how fast and surely she did everything, but I loved the edge-crimping the most.  She'd pinch the dough into little scalloped ridges with her thumbs and index fingers, and I was always amazed that it came out right every time.  Re-rolled dough makes a tough pie crust, so Grandma would always put the crescent-shaped scraps onto a cookie sheet and sprinkle them with cinnamon and sugar.  We called these "piecrust cookies."

It all looked so effortless and easy.  When I was married and grown (probably in that order), I wanted to make pie.  I used a recipe,and followed the instructions and my memories.  It was a total crap disaster.  The dough was either crumbly or sticky.  I tried rolling the dough into a regular circle without tearing it or having it stick permanently to the table, to no avail.  I've made many pies over the years, but I still don't have the skills to roll a crust out without chilling it first in the refrigerator.  I always make pie crust cookies with the scraps, and I tell the kids how my Grandma used that bowl to make pie crust, and she always made these same cookies for us.

Pie:  it's not just food, it's heritage.


*Hootenanny:  a monthly gathering where live music is performed by community musicians. Pie, desserts, and coffee are served.  Also the punchline to a favorite inside family joke.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Henna Day.

I'd been thinking about letting the henna grow out of my hair.  I haven't dyed it for several months, and it's fairly short, so it was about half and half my natural color (a mousy ashy light brown).  Then Lucy invited me to a henna party at her house, and that changed my mind.

I'm glad I did.  I forgot how much I like the texture it gives my hair, and how shiny it looks.  Plus, the red is just bright and awesome.  Henna adds a natural redhead cast to the existing color of hair, so I've got a medium auburn.  Someone with darker hair ends up with mahogany, and any grays become strawberry-blonde highlights.

It's not a "Nice and Easy" project.  Henna makes hair red, but it is an olive-drab green powder.  We mix it with lemon juice and oil and some tea and spices and let it sit for several hours to develop the dye.  This makes a really gross green/brown paste with tiny strawy chunks from the spices and tea.  Being a country girl and raised on a farm, I can authoritatively inform you that it looks EXACTLY like cow manure.

Henna alone has a very strong smell like alfalfa hay, which also, I've been told, smells much like pot.  To me, it also smells sort of like vegetal, like carrots or pumpkins, but in a more obnoxious way.  We add ginger and cinnamon and cloves, so it mostly smells like gingerbread instead.

So, when the paste is mixed and aged, we get together in our oldest and rattiest stretchy pants and shirts and trowel piles of the glop all over our hair.  The buddy system makes this easier.  Even with help, I always get earsfull of the junk.  EWWWWW.  After application, we wait 1-2 hours.  Also a bit gross, since even though we wrap our heads with grocery bags, the mix weeps poo juice out the edges the whole time.

Break for snacks:  We always make crepes when we have a henna party.  Yum!  We had ham and cheese and chives crepes for lunch, then chocolate and banana for dessert.  We also shared the joys of Nutella with two friends.

We rinse and shampoo for about five minutes over Lucy's kitchen sink, then stagger about dizzily while everyone compliments us. It's the best when the hair dries and it's sunny outside, then everyone has a gorgeous gleaming copper head of hair. 

A picture, since it wasn't sunny outside:

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A Letter to Loch.

Dear sweet little boy:

First, we're all very happy to have you here, and we can't imagine life without you.  You are a source of cuteness and joy in all our lives.

But you are incapable of sleep, and that is really starting to grind us down.  Mom, especially, is weary of feeding you several hours straight at night to keep you from screaming.  The problem is, she can't fully sleep when you are eating, because she has to make sure you remain attached and happy.  Your Dad is tired of having you shoved at him at five AM, with Mom saying she needs SOME sleep before morning.  We're exhausted with the two hours of screaming this then entails.

Last night sucked.  It wasn't all your fault, since Olivia began the festivities with vomiting.  Then the crankiness began as soon as our heads hit the pillow.  We all said things we didn't mean to each other.  You scratched Mom's face and pinched her chest.  Your parents may have told you to just shut up and go to sleep.  Not anyone's finest hour.

I'd also like to address the daytime behavior.  You are happy if one of us holds you, or you are nursing.  Please be informed that this is not healthy for the family income, your chances of attending college, your Mom's sanity, or your physical development.  Studies have shown that nine times out of ten, when Mom picks a fight with Dad, you have been crying.  Give her a break, she's got issues.

Remember a few weeks ago, when you had naps during the day, and slept at night?  By the way, this means a nap longer than ten minutes, preferably more than once a day.  Remember happily watching Mom and Dad work for minutes at a time from the safety of your swing?  Remember lying on a blanket, exercising your little round body and playing "Catch Those Toes?"  Let's see more of that, please.

Love,  your parents.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Uh, Feeling Better.

I don't feel that way all the time. I must admit I'm feeling a bit embarrassed, but I blog about what's going on, and that was going on.

Things are looking up today.

These are some pictures I fudged about on Picnik. Enjoy.





Saturday, November 14, 2009

Doesn't Effort Count?

I spend so much of my life floundering around, trying to make myself make an effort. Major depression runs in my family, especially for the women. My mother, grandmother, and sister have all been treated for it. Toby and I have spent hours talking and arguing about causes and solutions.

Here I am, thirty-one now. I'm heavier and unhealthier than I'd like to be. I am impatient with Toby and the kids way more often than I need to be. I have a good marriage that I know could be better if I could let go and just be happy and uncomplicated. I am part of a vastly successful business that allows us to work together and make a good living.

Everything is fine....except for me. I don't like anything about myself right now. Just going through the motions of life is taking all I have in me. I want to make everything better, but don't know where to start, and the thought of working even harder makes me want to curl up in a little ball and not move until next Tuesday.

My black, sarcastic sense of humor is probably my trademark. The problem is, some days the humor deserts me and all I have left is black sarcasm.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

What's Going On?


I've been quite restless about the fact that even though breastfeeding *supposedly* uses five hundred calories a day, I am pretty much stuck weighing five pounds more than I did before the Loch-pregnancy. Okay, I've actually been restless about a lot of things, but I can't control any of the others much.

I've been faithfully working out on the treadmill for about two and a half weeks and keeping track of my "progress" with a free online fitness journal. I've lost, then regained, then lost again, about two pounds. I'm trying to motivate myself with things like more energy, less depression, etc... It's mostly vanity.

I checked my measurements for the first time since starting, and there is a difference. My bum is about an inch and a half smaller. Bust, an inch smaller. Thighs, also an inch smaller. Waist? No change. Just the flippin' place where I need to lose weight the most. I'm already shaped like the ice cream cone above, if it looked like it had also gestated five kids. Also, it's half Nutella-flavored, just like me.

Where does that leave me? Holding my pants up with a belt, and worried that if I lose more weight, I might not be able to sell corsets anymore, if you know what I mean. I knew I'd been working hard, but was not aware that I've literally been working my a** off.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Unintentional Vegan.

Sometimes I forget to put an egg in the muffin recipe I'm making (to get attetion).

Still, yay for banana-nut muffins! Even a minor baking project completed and slightly botched makes me feel like more is right with the world.